It never ceases to amaze me the way us humans over-complicate our lives because we refuse - or are too lax - to implement some simple strategies in our everyday.

Bullying and bullying prevention is a key cause for concern across our nation; in schools and workplaces alike. There are many reasons why bullying behaviour is rampant - insecure identity being a major cause - but this article is not where I'll share my opinion on those (feel free to check out some of my other blogs into my insights regarding bullying, identity and emotional intelligence). Here I want to give 3 simple strategies that, if implemented consistently, will reduce the risk of bullying in your workplace.

Strategy 1. Communicate clear and concise statements verbally and visually.

It's imperative that you set boundaries - clear expectations, guidelines and consequences - about the type of behaviour that you will not tolerate in your workplace. Yes you need a detailed policy and procedure, but design a one page poster that simplifies your expectations and will act as a daily prompt to your staff.

In this poster, outline what bullying behaviour is; some common impacts it has on individuals and; the process your staff can follow to report bullying in your workplace. Print multiple copies of the poster and post it in prominent places that your staff frequent on a daily basis - staff toilets, staff tea rooms, staff offices, the fridge door etc. Staff should have no reason why they are unaware of how they are expected to behave AND what action they can take to report issues.

Strategy 2. Ensure leadership take responsibility to ACT in accordance with these statements.

If you are a leader, the way you instill a culture of trust in your workplace is by ensuring that your actions reflect what you say you believe in. By doing what you say not only are you leading by example, but you are reinforcing that your employees can trust the statements you have made regarding bullying. When your people trust those statements, and believe that bullying will not be tolerated, they are more likely to ensure that they regulate their own behaviour - they will be motivated! This culture of trust and respect for leadership's authenticity will also be a protective factor in reducing the risk of bullying because standards of integrity have been clearly set and modeled.

With regard to specifically acting in accordance with your bullying policies: Ensure you treat others with respect - listen to them and speak in a respectful tone: Don't unfairly isolate or ostracise anybody, don't have obvious favourites: If you need to address an issue, do it with discretion without hurting anybody's dignity: If you make a mistake, acknowledge it and apologise if required: Make yourself open and available - both physically and emotionally - so that your team feel comfortable to approach you.

Strategy 3. Take bullying reports seriously and follow up in a timely and appropriate manner.

Not every complaint or reported issue will require a formal disciplinary process. But each issue reported to you should be investigated as quickly as possible and dealt with according to its merit.

If an employee comes to you with a problem, and sees that you take no action to deal with it they will feel undervalued. Through your lack of action, you are also giving your people reason to doubt your integrity since you (as a member of leadership) have made statements that bullying behaviour will not be tolerated, but you are showing little interest in whether these expectations have been upheld.

Follow up as quickly as possible by; acknowledging the person with the complaint and expressing your understanding of what they are feeling and how they have been impacted; clarifying with that person what could rectify the situation for them (it could be an apology, or simply that the behaviour stops); don't make any promises about what you can deliver, but ensure them you will take all of this into account as you follow up; speak to the other party/parties involved as soon as practicably possible; determine the most appropriate course of action to rectify the situation; communicate clearly (and at regular intervals if this process takes time) with the parties about your progress, thoughts and your suggested pathway for resolution.

By consistently applying these three strategies, the risk of bullying in your workplace will be sure to decrease. Ofcourse some bullies are going to be a problem despite any amount of intervention. They will be in the minority, and always exist despite all your best efforts. But for the majority - those who are teetering on the edge of unacceptable behaviour - seeing/hearing/feeling these expectations outlined and followed up will be a significant and sufficient deterrent to curb their behaviour and influence their choices.

You can influence change by being authentic and consistent! Below is a vlog in which I expand verbally on these 3 strategies for reducing bullying in your workplace. Whether you are a formal or informal leader, this is relevant for you!
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Please contact me at wellbalance to discuss training or coaching needs for your organisation.

Kristy is the founder of Wellbalance. She is inspired to motivate leaders and workplaces toward proactive, effective and productive communication with their people, to achieve positive outcomes for all and resolve conflict. Kristy enjoys long walks on the beach and holding hands at sunset (just joking - actually not really!) Kristy thrives on seeing relationships reach their full potential, and celebrates when people come to understand their true value - to love their flaws, accept their perceived failings and grow beyond these. She believes that the entire human race are healthier and happier when they CONNECT - with their people, GROW - in their self awareness and ability to engage with others, and LIVE - life to their full potential.

The pursuit of happiness. Most of us are on board that train; destination happiness; but what habits are you practicing that are wrecking your journey on a daily basis?

Habit 1: Limited emotional vocabulary.
Does your emotional vocabulary consist of two words? Happy and sad?! Or can you articulate the gamut of emotions between and around happy and sad? Having the self awareness to recognise your emotions, then the vocabulary to articulate them will improve your emotional intelligence. When you have emotional intelligence and awareness of your mood, you can accept it for what it is - a passing feeling - and don't have to allow your mood to dictate your attitude and behaviour.

Habit 2: You lack purpose and intent.
How often do you stop running on the hamster wheel to consider where you are heading and to set your intention for how you want to act and feel in your next interaction? Stopping for a few minutes to plan and consider your purpose throughout the day is invaluable to you kicking goals in the activities you invest your time in. The same as you would go into a meeting with clear purpose and intent of what you want to achieve and the outcomes you are aiming for, so you can set your intent for your mood. In your next interaction how do you want to be perceived - as energetic? as enthusiastic? as bored? Think about how would behave in order to be perceived that way, and think about the feelings that come with that. Set your intention and take a breath before you go into that interaction. Allow yourself to be surprised how your interactions and feelings follow the intent you set - because your behaviour and attitude influence them!

Habit 3: Appreciation is reserved for big milestones only.
Is every day you live just test of patience as you impatiently wait to achieve your big goals? Do small milestones slip by without you even noticing? Do you have a mindset that life now is nothing, but once you have achieved your goals, then you will be happy? Appreciating the ordinary, everyday facets of your life is a key to your happiness. No doubt there are many aspects of your life that others may consider their life long goals (think third world/first world here). Not only can appreciating all of your everyday ordinary blessings impact your mood positively, but adjusting your mindset will help greatly too. If you are focused on "being happy once a,b or c happens" I will suggest two things; 1; you will be disappointed when you get there because with this mindset there is always another goal to achieve, and 2; you will miss MANY opportunities for happiness and joy in your everyday because you are too busy focusing on your ideas for the future.

Habit 4: Constantly running from A to B and chasing your tail.
Are you so busy with a task list that is 3 miles long most days, that stopping (to articulate your mood, take a breath, set your intention or appreciate the moment) is way beyond your realms of consideration? Being that busy is dangerous for your mood and wellbeing, because of all that is above - you don't take the few minutes to stop and be mindful. Mindfulness is definitely a trendy catch cry word at the moment, but there is a good reason for that; practicing it can bring you huge health and wellbeing benefits! Being mindful is an extension of adopting the different mindset I spoke about in habit 3. Practicing it as a habit causes you to ground yourself in the moments of your day and appreciate your journey, rather than being overwhelmed with thoughts and plans for what is coming next.

Habit 5: Meaningful social connections are not a priority.
Do you keep all your social and professional interactions as superficial as possible so you don't have to deal with your own emotional baggage or that of others? Not all of your interactions needs to be deep and meaningful, but if you don't inject authenticity on some level into them, your happiness and wellbeing will suffer. To know and to be known by other trusted human beings is a critical protective factor in your mental health outcomes and physical life expectancy. Allow yourself to be known in your interactions. And make it a priority to connect on a meaningful level with a trusted person most days (the occasional day off for emotional solace and recovery is acceptable in my book (insert winking emoji)!)
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There are ofcourse many other bad habits that will negatively impact your mood, and other good habits that you can adopt. To listen to my latest vlog about how you can implement these positive strategies into your every day life to improve your mood and happiness, click on the link to my youtube channel below.

Kristy is the founder of Wellbalance. She is inspired to motivate leaders and workplaces toward proactive, effective and productive communication with their people, to achieve positive outcomes for all and resolve conflict. Kristy enjoys long walks on the beach and holding hands at sunset (just joking - actually not really!) Kristy thrives on seeing relationships reach their full potential, and celebrates when people come to understand their true value - to love their flaws, accept their perceived failings and grow beyond these. She believes that the entire human race are healthier and happier when they CONNECT - with their people, GROW - in their self awareness and ability to engage with others, and LIVE - life to their full potential.

1.  Get clarity around what's important to you and what your anxiety is working to protect.
Anxiety is a natural mode that our body "kicks in" to when it senses we are threatened or in danger.  Anxiety becomes a problem for some people, however, when their body - originating from their mind - perceives threat when it really isn't there, OR is not there to the degree that they perceive.   Getting clarity regarding what you perceive to be threatened is invaluable in taking steps to combat your anxiety.  Are you fearful for your physical safety?  Are you fearful of losing a loved one and their physical safety?  Are you fearful of being hurt emotionally?  Or some part of your identity being challenged that you cannot bear?  Take time to reflect and articulate - to yourself, to your diary, to a trusted person - what you most hold dear and what you most fear losing.

2.  How do you see yourself?  And is your perspective correct?  
Particularly for those people who suffer anxiety due to fears of internal threat and pain, how do you perceive yourself and your identity?  Are you so fixated on the one part of you that you fear being hurt/damaged/threatened that you have lost sight of all the other qualities and characteristics that make up the person that you are?  Ofcourse this step requires the willingness to make yourself vulnerable, because only in acknowledging your deepest thoughts and fears, can you truly identify and work on them.  The work begins when you are then challenged to broaden your perspective of yourself.  When your perspective is broadened, in the case of one aspect/part of you being hurt, the pain would be then be relative to 5% of your being, rather than 100%.  Broadening your perspective of yourself decreases anxiety's prospects of impacting such a big part of you.  
How much control do you perceive you have?  Are you attempting to control external circumstances that are actually beyond your control?  Some people who suffer anxiety are busy attempting to control circumstances, and it's as though they haven't stopped to think that the job they are trying to achieve is humanly impossible, which leads to the next point:

3.  Be intentional about what you can and can't control; what you can and can't do.  
The irony of anxiety is that to combat it, many people use the strategy of attempting to take control of more and more external circumstances, when in actual fact, acceptance of the need to relinquish control is the beginning of a road to recovery.  Relinquishing the impossible dream of controlling all external circumstances, and focusing on taking control of how you think - about your safety AND about your anxiety AND about your identity - is the next invaluable key to taking steps on your road to recovery.  You can't control all the external factors impacting your anxiety, but you can control how you think and how you respond to your anxiety.  

4.  Develop Emotional Intelligence regarding the emotions you experience or are afraid of.  
Those people who experience anxiety, experience the array of negative emotions that coincide with anxiety.  Negative emotions aren't pleasant.  No one in their right mind would look forward to them.  And in actual fact they can be downright painful.  They can be so negative that some people with anxiety start "fearing the fear".  And rightly so - to a point - because the sense of fear and overwhelm is not something to be celebrated and anticipated.  The huge problem with this however, is that in fearing the fear, and fearing the emotion, your brain is giving WAY too much kudos to something that is only an emotion.  An emotion is real yes, but it's something that cannot physically harm you.  It cannot dictate your behaviour.  And it will pass with time.  It will even pass particularly quickly with time, if that time is spent in selfaware and proactive thought.  Which brings me to my final point; once you are thinking about your emotions helpfully and realistically - as emotions that can be painful, but cannot dictate you and will pass - you can bring intention into the strategies you use to assist you through times of emotional overwhelm.

5.  Develop helpful strategies as HABITS that you can draw on in times of severe anxiety.  
Develop an emotional vocabulary in which you can adequately identity and describe the emotions you are feeling.  Then, when you are experiencing them, rather than being fearful of the negative feeling, accept that it will be with you for a time, and focus on articulating and describing it.  This practice is self awareness and EQ 101.  It is also an aspect of mindfulness - being aware of your body - which you can extend further from your emotional awareness and vocabulary, to physical awareness and vocabulary.  Once you have taken note, identified and articulated your emotions, do the same with your physical sensations.  How is it that your body is feeling right now?  What temperature is it?  Where are you feeling pressure?  Wriggle your toes and how much room do you have in your shoes?  This technique of grounding yourself in your present physical state can be extended as much as you wish and need. 
Another helpful technique in times of distress is distraction.  Distraction techniques that are proactive and pre-planned are the best.  Engage in a favourite hobby/activity.  Do some physical exercise.  Listen to some favourite music.  Think about what positive behaviour helps you in times of stress and make a plan about how you will use it in times of severe anxiety.  
Finally there are many other resources available to assist you to combat anxiety.  Visit your GP and ask for advice.  Ask for referral for a mental health care plan to receive counselling subsidised by Medicare.  Seek private counselling.  Talk to a trusted, knowledgeable friend.  Access the myriad of quality online resources and apps, to name only a few:
Beyond Blue - beyondblue.org.au
The Black Dog Institute - blackdoginstitute.org.au
Sane Australia - sane.org

Here is my latest vlog in which I verbally expound all of the above.  I hope you find it helpful and even life changing.  In the meantime, connect with yourself and your people, grow in your understanding of yourself and your people, and live your best life.  Smiles from Kristy :)

Kristy is the founder of Wellbalance. She is inspired to motivate leaders and workplaces toward proactive, effective and productive communication with their people, to achieve positive outcomes for all. Kristy enjoys long walks on the beach and holding hands at sunset (just joking - actually not really!) Kristy thrives on seeing relationships reach their full potential, and celebrates when people come to understand their true value - to love their flaws, accept their perceived failings and grow beyond these. She believes that the entire human race are healthier and happier when they CONNECT - with their people, GROW - in their self awareness and ability to engage with others, and LIVE - life to their full potential.